Be an entrepreneur, be a mom, look incredible, be hilarious, be supportive, caring, kind. Be sexy, be thin. Don’t be too skinny. Be self-aware and self-nurturing. Be humble, serve others, don’t serve too much, save some for yourself. And do it all while eating well and getting enough sleep. But also get up early and meditate and journal and take time for you.
BUT, HOLY SHIT. HOW?!
Let’s get off the crazy train for a minute.
There is no such thing as balance. There is only harmony.
We’re caught up in this see-saw analogy, Lady Liberty holding up her golden scales. Measure for measure, all things being equal. It’s impossible. We can’t measure equally in time, space, volume the things that are soul-filling and those that are soul-sucking. Two minutes of your laughing toddler may give you joy for a lifetime while a similar two minutes in your toxic office may be knocking years off your life.
Even peddling a bike isn’t actual balancing: You’re always off-balance, off-kilter. With every cycle, you’re course-correcting your weight and shifting back and forth.
Harmony is something entirely different. It’s all things working together, without friction, smoothly sliding into place. It’s name alone sounds beautiful, feels peaceful. It doesn’t sound aggressive or like it’s an act of active work. It just *is*, whereas balance sounds like I have to perfect and monitor it.
So, first, let’s give up this notion that balance is coming or that we’re trying to achieve it.
What you’re here to create and BE isn’t more busy-ness. Can we agree on that?
You also get to cut yourself some slack and realize that it is impossible to do it all. As superwomen A-Types we want to believe that we can handle it a little bit better than the next person, but truth be told, we’re all cut from the same cloth. None of us are invincible and you deserve to put yourself into the equation of life. You are here to make an impact in your world, not just cater to those around you.
I’m going to tell you for real: You cannot do it all and there are consequences if you try to push yourself.
We are in an epidemic.
50 million American’s have an autoimmune disease and it’s only getting worse. We have a broken food system, a chronic stress problem, and we’re overzealous about achieving more.
1 in 5 people have an autoimmune issue
75% of them are women
Is it our genes, the makeup, and chemicals we bathe in, or is it more?
Could it be the fact that we’re trying to DO IT ALL?
That we’re thread-bare and exhausted?
That we’ve tapped into our reserves too many times?
Women are generally healthier and live longer than men. We are less susceptible to infectious diseases—But on the other hand, 75-80% of people with autoimmune diseases are women! (And while this makes it a BIG women’s issue, it’s that much more challenging for a man to be diagnosed because of being overlooked and written off.)
Named a major women’s health issue by the Office of Research on Women’s Health at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), autoimmunity is the underlying cause of more than 100 serious, chronic illnesses. Other reports put that number well above 140 illnesses.
One field of study says this higher prevalence in women is partly attributable to the X chromosome, which has many genes relating to the immune system.
It is advantageous for women to have two X chromosomes—it’s what helps us fight off infectious diseases better than our male counterparts, but the price is a greater tendency to develop autoimmunity.
The immune system is particularly sensitive to stress: The primary stress hormone of the body, cortisol, has influence over the immune system. It generally helps to balance immune function.
When stress is severe, the control of cortisol over the immune system can be permanently impaired, leading to increased inflammation.
The increase in inflammation can lead to a range of diseases and disorders, including autoimmune disorders, heart disease, and diabetes. All which are out of control and off the charts in terms of yearly cases. Our healthcare system is buckling under these pressures and it’s not trending better.
Other interesting new studies are linking suppressed abuse and PTSD, abuse, and trauma to autoimmune issues! This is huge, unsettling news.
My personal take on all this is 1 part genes, 1 part being caregivers, stress-addicts, people stretched to their max and often at the receiving end of abuse. And while not everyone who stresses out or has abuse is bound for an autoimmune issue, the recipe is pretty easy:
DNA predisposition + trigger (food, stress, environmental factor) = autoimmune issue
Our modern lives are a cocktail to create disease.
Who benefits when you’re healthy?
Our world is spiraling with more more more and I want to tell you NO—it should be less and less. We are all Wonder Woman in our own right. We don’t have to prove it otherwise.
Healing can happen when we start to ditch limiting beliefs, change our mental narrative, and adopt a diet and lifestyle that promote harmony and #positivity.
I’ve personally traded in some of my former personality traits for some health and wellness. It started with food, then moved to stress-management. Then I discovered mindset reset work and the results were astounding. Over the last few years have created an Action Plan for A-Types and I’d love for you to start implementing it. It’s a plan to untangle your life and get back to healthy. To get you back to you.
But it’s going to take dedication. And time. Putting yourself first. You were with me until that last one, right? Yeah, that last one is the most critical and truly the hardest one to keep in alignment. Are you up for the challenge? Are you ready to build a life without gritting through it? Without white-knuckling it through all by yourself? I know you’re strong enough. Capable enough. Look at all you’ve accomplished already! But are you dedicated to yourself enough to do it?
How about if I delivered it to you another way: are you dedicated enough for them to take care of you? Because right here, right now is where the tipping point is where you get to lead a life without pain or struggle. If you don’t make the choice now, will you be able to continue to care and support the way you do now in the future? Just how much more do you have to give? And the real question: will they be able to take care of YOU when the time comes? Food for thought, my superwoman.